Praying not to be “Healthy”

Luke 5:31-32

Jesus answered them “Healthy people don’t need a doctor-sick people do. I have come to call sinners to turn from their sins, not to spend my time with those who think they are already good enough.”

I pray I never believe I am spiritually healthy. It happens, to me and to all of us. We see a person doing something we don’t agree with and pass judgement either out loud or in our hearts. But the truth is we are all sick, none of us are healthy and we all need God’s grace.

I was involved in a bible study a few years ago: Life Principles from the Women on the Bible. As we were studying the fourth chapter “Following God – Rahab” there was one part that struck me so hard. I would like to say that since reading that I changed forever and never reverted back to judging people; but I can’t.

What I can say is that I do remember it often and I refer to it myself frequently “The great revivalist Roy Hession used to say, ‘Be careful what you say about the faults and mistakes of others-they may have already been to the cross about them.’

Wow, isn’t that a smack in the face? But it’s true. How often do we go before God and ask him to forgive us for our sins, forgive us of what we have done in the past. And what does he say? 1 John 1:9 “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong”.

I know my own past and sins, I don’t want to be reminded of the daily and I certainly don’t want others who know them to judge me for what I have already laid at the foot of the cross. I know it happens, I know people do it, but I will continue to pray daily that I don’t want to be healthy.

 

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Proverbs 3:5

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust the Lord your God with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding.”

Those were the words I saw in my inbox this morning, God knew where my heart was and knew I needed his reassurance that He is in control, not me. That He is keeping us safe and answering our prayers even if it’s not the way I thought it would turn out.

Isn’t that usually the case? We pray for something and God answers our prayers but not in the way we thought He would and we’re surprised. And I have this conversation with Him:

Me: But, but I prayed for this, and wanted it to work out this way.

God: Did you not pray for protection?

Me: Well yes, but not in that way…

God: But I’m protecting you, all things happen in my timing, you want to follow my will right?

Me: Yes, you’re right. Please help me, protect my heart from the hurt.

God: I will, always and forever.

Background: My husband and I are looking for a house. We have three children and we aren’t looking for an immaculate finished house. We’re looking for the house we can live, love and grow into. The house we can slowly work on and make our own. The house we can put sweat, tears and blood into. And we found it, or at least I thought we did. We saw it twice we worked with a wonderful realtor and wrote up the offer and signed it. Then she left to submit it and I checked my inbox and waiting was an email alerting me that a house I saved was now active with offer. The house we had just signed an offer on had accepted before we even had the chance to submit our offer.

It was the only house that felt like home when we walked in. It was the only house my husband had written down all of the changes he would make to the house to make it ours. We thought, we were sure this was the one God was leading us to and we (along with all of our friends) had prayed fervently for God to protect us and help us know if this was the right house.

And He did. But when He did it hurt and it was sad. It wasn’t how I thought things would work out. This was several days ago, the pain and sadness is still there for both of us, but we know, and we continue to surrender every day. God is in control not us, He will find us the right house in his own timing not ours.

And along the way he will let us know how much He still loves us even in our sadness and pain by sharing His word with us.

Praying to Love God in all things and not rely on my own understandings.